Creating Your Emotional Safety Plan

Why You Need an Emotional Safety Plan

When working with emotional material in EmEase, having a safety plan is like carrying a first aid kit on a hike. Most of the time, you won’t need it, but having it ready provides peace of mind and protection when challenges arise.

An emotional safety plan helps you:

Stay within your window of tolerance during processing
Respond effectively if you feel overwhelmed
Build confidence to work with difficult material
Create structure for your healing journey
Recognize when to seek additional support

This guide will help you create a personalized safety plan that supports your work with EmEase.

Understanding Your Window of Tolerance

Before creating your safety plan, it’s helpful to understand the concept of the “window of tolerance.” This term describes the zone where you’re emotionally regulated enough to process experiences effectively.

When you’re within your window of tolerance, you can:

Feel emotions without being overwhelmed by them
Think clearly while staying connected to your feelings
Move between different emotional states with flexibility
Stay present rather than shutting down or becoming hyperaroused

Processing work is most effective when you stay within this window. Your safety plan helps you maintain this balanced state or return to it when you move outside it.

Many people have different sized windows of tolerance for different emotions or situations. You might have a wide window for sadness but a narrow one for anger, or you might handle work stress easily but become quickly overwhelmed by relationship conflicts.

Understanding your personal patterns helps you create a more effective safety plan. Notice which emotions or situations tend to push you outside your window more quickly, and give these special attention in your plan.

Building Your Emotional Safety Plan

Step 1: Identify Your Personal Signs of Distress

Everyone experiences distress differently. Knowing your unique warning signs helps you respond before you become overwhelmed.

Make a list of how you typically experience different levels of distress:

Mild Distress Signs

Slight tension in your shoulders or jaw
Minor difficulty concentrating
Shallow breathing
Fidgeting or restlessness
Mild irritability or impatience
Checking the time frequently
Slight changes in your voice tone or speed

Moderate Distress Signs

Noticeable increase in heart rate
Difficulty focusing on anything else
Strong urge to avoid the situation
Tightness in chest or stomach
Feeling tearful or lump in throat
Defensive thoughts or blame
Wanting to leave the situation
Changes in body temperature

Severe Distress Signs

Feeling disconnected from your surroundings
Intense physical reactions like shaking or nausea
Racing thoughts or mental blankness
Feeling like you might lose control
Difficulty speaking or finding words
Extreme emotional responses
Feeling frozen or unable to move
Tunnel vision or audio distortion

Write down your personal signs for each level. These will be your cues to activate different parts of your safety plan.

Many people find it helpful to track their distress patterns for a week, noting what situations trigger different levels of distress and how these experiences manifest in their thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations.

Ask trusted friends or family members what they notice when you’re becoming distressed. Sometimes others can spot our warning signs before we recognize them ourselves.

Step 2: Create Your Grounding Toolkit

Grounding techniques help you return to the present moment when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Different techniques work better for different people and situations.

Compile a list of grounding techniques that work for you:

Quick Grounding Techniques (30-60 seconds)

Take five deep breaths, extending your exhale
Press your feet firmly into the floor
Hold a cold object or splash cold water on your face
Name five things you can see in your current environment
Count backward from 100 by 7s
Rub your hands together and focus on the sensation
Smell a strong scent like mint or lavender
Stretch your arms overhead and take a deep breath

Medium Grounding Techniques (2-5 minutes)

Practice the 5-4-3-2-1 technique with all your senses
Do a brief body scan, tensing and releasing muscle groups
Focus on a simple physical task like washing dishes mindfully
Listen to a grounding song that connects you to the present
Use strong sensory input like smelling essential oils or tasting something sour
Run your hands under water at different temperatures
Name categories of items alphabetically
Describe an object in great detail

Deep Grounding Techniques (5+ minutes)

Complete a guided meditation from the EmEase app
Take a mindful walk, focusing on the sensation of walking
Practice progressive muscle relaxation for your whole body
Write in a journal about your current sensory experiences
Engage in gentle movement like stretching or yoga
Create something simple with your hands
Listen to nature sounds while visualizing a peaceful place
Prepare and drink tea mindfully, focusing on each step

Experiment with different techniques to discover what works best for you at different distress levels. Keep track of which techniques are most effective in various situations.

Consider creating a physical grounding kit with items that engage your senses. This might include:

Something with a strong taste, like sour candy or cinnamon gum
Something with a pleasant or distinctive smell
Something with an interesting texture to touch
Something visually engaging or soothing
Something that makes a gentle sound

Keep this kit accessible during your EmEase sessions.

Step 3: Identify Your Support Network

Having people you can reach out to is an essential part of any safety plan. Make a list of supportive people in your life and how they might help during different situations.

Professional Supports

Therapist or counselor (include contact information)
Primary care doctor
Crisis hotlines or text lines
Support groups, online or in-person
Religious or spiritual advisors

Personal Supports

Friends who understand emotional challenges
Family members who provide comfort
Mentors or trusted colleagues
Online communities focused on healing
Neighbors or local community members

For each person, note:

Their name and contact information
Times they are typically available
How they can best support you
What you feel comfortable sharing with them
Any specific boundaries to respect

Remember that different people may provide different types of support. Some might be good listeners, while others might help with practical needs or distraction.

Consider having a tiered support system:

Tier 1: People you can contact anytime for significant distress
Tier 2: People you can reach out to during their available hours
Tier 3: People who can provide general support but may not understand your processing work

Discuss your needs with key support people before a crisis occurs. Let them know what kinds of support are helpful and unhelpful. For example, you might tell them, “When I’m distressed, I find it helpful when you listen without trying to fix the problem” or “I appreciate when you remind me to use my grounding techniques.”

Step 4: Create Containment Strategies

Sometimes you’ll need to temporarily set aside emotional material, especially if you need to return to daily responsibilities after a session. Containment strategies help you put emotional content in a metaphorical container until you’re ready to work with it again.

Effective containment strategies include:

Visualization Containers Imagine placing your emotions or memories in a container of your choice. This might be a box with a lock, a safe, a vault, or any other container that feels secure. Visualize closing and securing it until you choose to open it again.

Make this visualization detailed and multisensory. What does your container look like? What is it made of? How does it close or lock? Where will you store it? The more detailed your visualization, the more effective it tends to be.

Symbolic Boundaries Create a physical gesture that represents putting away your processing work, such as closing a door, washing your hands, or changing your clothes. Use this gesture to signal the transition between processing time and regular activities.

Some people find it helpful to have a specific item they only wear or use during processing sessions. Putting this item away symbolizes that processing time is complete.

Scheduling Worry Time If concerns continue to intrude, schedule specific “worry time” later when you’ll allow yourself to think about these issues. When thoughts arise outside this time, gently remind yourself they have their designated time.

Be specific about when and where this worry time will occur, and limit it to 15-30 minutes. During the scheduled time, fully engage with your concerns, perhaps by writing them down or thinking through possible solutions.

Written Containment Write down intrusive thoughts or feelings on paper, then physically put the paper away in a drawer or folder until your next session.

Some people find it helpful to use a specific notebook just for this purpose, or to create a digital file that can be closed and put away.

Digital Boundaries Create clear separation between processing work and other activities on your devices. This might mean using a different app for processing notes, closing all related tabs, or even using a different device for EmEase sessions.

Practice these containment strategies regularly, not just when you’re in distress. Like any skill, they become more effective with practice.

Step 5: Develop Your Self-Care Framework

Regular self-care builds emotional resilience and helps prevent overwhelm. Create a framework for daily, weekly, and emergency self-care practices.

Daily Self-Care Practices

Physical care like adequate sleep, nutrition, and movement
Brief mindfulness or meditation practice
Time in nature or outdoors
Meaningful connection with others
Activities that bring joy or relaxation
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries
Moments of gratitude or appreciation
Hydration and regular meals

Weekly Self-Care Practices

Deeper relaxation activities like a bath or massage
Creative expression through art, music, or writing
Time with supportive friends or community
Reflection on progress and growth
Setting boundaries and saying no when needed
Planning and preparing for the week ahead
Engaging in a hobby or interest
Technology breaks or digital detox periods

Emergency Self-Care Practices

Activities that provide immediate comfort
Highly engaging distractions that absorb your attention
Physical activities that release tension
Comfort objects or environments
Permission to meet basic needs first
Temporary lowering of expectations
Reaching out for support
Sensory soothing activities

Remember that effective self-care isn’t always about pleasant activities. Sometimes it involves setting boundaries, making difficult choices, or addressing problems directly.

Create a self-care menu for each category with at least 5-10 options. Having multiple choices allows you to select what feels most supportive in any given moment.

Step 6: Develop Emotional Regulation Strategies

Beyond grounding, having specific strategies to regulate different emotions can be extremely helpful. Different emotions often respond to different approaches.

For Anxiety

Slow, deep breathing with extended exhales
Progressive muscle relaxation
Fact-checking anxious thoughts
Physical movement to release nervous energy
Limiting caffeine and other stimulants

For Anger

Physical release through exercise or movement
Expressing feelings through writing or art
Temporary distance from triggering situations
Focusing on the underlying needs or fears
Relaxation techniques like deep breathing

For Sadness

Allowing tears and emotional expression
Gentle self-compassion practices
Connection with supportive others
Light movement like walking or stretching
Engaging with beauty through nature or art

For Shame

Self-compassion statements and practices
Reaching out to trusted, validating others
Challenging perfectionistic expectations
Remembering common humanity of mistakes
Grounding in your values and worth

For Numbness or Disconnection

Strong sensory input like cold water or spicy food
Physical movement, especially rhythmic movement
Social engagement with safe people
Naming and describing what you observe around you
Gentle self-touch like hand on heart or self-hug

Add your personal regulation strategies for the emotions you most commonly experience during processing.

Step 7: Create Your Distress Response Plan

Now combine the elements above into a clear plan for responding to different levels of distress. This step-by-step guide will help you navigate difficult moments.

For Mild Distress

Acknowledge what you’re feeling
Use a quick grounding technique
Decide whether to continue processing or take a brief break
Implement a simple self-care strategy
Adjust your processing approach if needed
Check in with your body’s needs
Return to processing with renewed focus

For Moderate Distress

Pause your processing session
Use a medium grounding technique
Check in with your body’s needs
Consider reaching out to a support person
Use emotion-specific regulation strategies
Decide whether to continue with a different approach or end the session
Use containment if ending the session
Engage in appropriate self-care

For Severe Distress

End your processing session
Use your most effective grounding techniques
Contact a support person from your network
Focus on immediate physical comfort and safety
Use containment strategies
Implement emergency self-care
Consider professional support if distress persists
Be gentle with yourself and avoid self-criticism
Return to processing only when back within your window of tolerance

Write out your personalized plan and keep it easily accessible during EmEase sessions.

Step 8: Know When to Seek Professional Help

Self-directed processing has limitations. Include clear guidelines for when to seek professional support.

Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if:

Your distress remains high for more than a few days after a session
You experience new or concerning symptoms like flashbacks or dissociation
You find yourself avoiding daily activities due to emotional distress
You have thoughts of harming yourself or others
You discover traumatic material that feels too overwhelming to process alone
You feel stuck or find that your distress isn’t decreasing over time
You notice increased use of substances or other unhealthy coping mechanisms
Your sleep is significantly disrupted for more than a few days
You experience persistent nightmares or intrusive thoughts
Your relationships or work performance are negatively affected

Include contact information for crisis resources in your area, such as:

National crisis hotlines
Local emergency mental health services
Your therapist’s emergency contact protocol
Nearby emergency rooms or urgent care facilities
Online crisis text or chat services

Remember that seeking help is a sign of strength and wisdom, not weakness.

Putting Your Plan into Practice

Once you’ve created your emotional safety plan:

Write it down in a format that works for you, whether digital or on paper
Keep it accessible during all EmEase sessions
Review it regularly and update as you learn more about what works for you
Practice the techniques when you’re not in distress to build familiarity
Share relevant parts with trusted support people
Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to assess how your plan is working
Make adjustments based on your experiences
Celebrate when your plan helps you navigate difficult moments

Remember that using your safety plan isn’t a sign of failure or weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom and self-awareness. Even experienced therapists and practitioners use safety strategies when working with emotional material.

Sample Safety Plan

Here’s an example of what a completed emotional safety plan might look like:

My Distress Warning Signs

Mild: Tight jaw, fidgeting, distracted thoughts, checking the time frequently
Moderate: Chest tightness, urge to quit, racing heart, feeling defensive
Severe: Feeling frozen, disconnected from surroundings, nausea, difficulty speaking

My Grounding Toolkit

Quick: Five deep breaths, press feet into floor, name five blue objects, rub hands together
Medium: 5-4-3-2-1 technique, hold ice cube, count backward from 100, focus on detailed description of an object
Deep: Body scan meditation, mindful walking, progressive muscle relaxation, journal writing

My Support Network

Professional: Dr. Garcia (therapist) 555-123-4567, available Tues-Fri
Personal: Michael (friend) 555-987-6543, good listener, available evenings
Crisis: National Crisis Text Line - text HOME to 741741

My Containment Strategies

Visualize placing memories in a wooden chest with a lock and key, storing it on a high shelf
Change clothes after processing sessions to signal transition
Write intrusive thoughts on paper and place in desk drawer until next session
Schedule worry time from 5:00-5:20 PM if needed

My Self-Care Framework

Daily: 10-minute morning meditation, evening walk, adequate water, three meals
Weekly: Sunday nature hike, Friday social connection, creative time, technology-free evening
Emergency: Weighted blanket, favorite comfort movie, physical movement, comfort food, extra rest

My Emotion Regulation Strategies

For anxiety: Box breathing, fact-checking thoughts, gentle walking
For sadness: Allow tears, listen to meaningful music, reach out to friend
For anger: Physical exercise, write unsent letters, identify unmet needs
For shame: Self-compassion practice, remember I’m human, call supportive friend

My Distress Response Plan [Include personalized steps for each distress level]

When I’ll Seek Professional Help

If distress remains high for more than 3 days
If I experience flashbacks or dissociation
If I have thoughts of harming myself
If I find myself using alcohol or other substances to cope
If I discover traumatic material that feels overwhelming

Professional Resources

Therapist: Dr. Garcia, 555-123-4567
Crisis Line: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline
Local Emergency Services: County Mental Health Crisis Team, 555-456-7890
Primary Care Doctor: Dr. Smith, 555-234-5678

Conclusion

Creating an emotional safety plan is an investment in your wellbeing and an essential foundation for effective work with EmEase. Your plan will evolve as you gain experience and discover what works best for you.

Remember that emotional safety isn’t about avoiding difficult feelings. It’s about creating the conditions where you can work with those feelings productively and with self-compassion.

With a solid safety plan in place, you can approach your processing work with greater confidence, knowing you have the tools to navigate whatever arises on your healing journey.

Your safety plan is a living document. Review it regularly and update it based on your experiences. What works for you may change over time, and that’s perfectly normal. The most effective safety plans grow and evolve alongside your healing process.

By taking the time to create a comprehensive emotional safety plan, you’re demonstrating commitment to your wellbeing and creating the foundation for meaningful, sustainable healing work with EmEase.