Sitting with Uncertainty About the Future

You can’t make uncertainty about the future go away, and trying to is often what keeps you stuck in it. What helps is calming your body’s reaction to not-knowing. Name the one specific fear looping in your mind right now. Then use a short round of bilateral stimulation, the left-right technique behind EMDR, to take the edge off it.

Maybe it’s test results you’re waiting on, a job that might not exist in six months, or a relationship you can’t quite read anymore. Nothing has actually happened yet. And still your chest is tight, your sleep is off, and your mind keeps circling the same unanswerable question: what happens next?

Why does not knowing feel worse than knowing something bad?

Not knowing isn’t a minor discomfort on the way to an answer. A widely cited 2016 review in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders argues that fear of the unknown may be one of the most basic fears underneath anxiety in general, a common thread running under worry, phobias, and chronic overthinking alike. The discomfort you’re feeling isn’t a character flaw or an overreaction. It’s one of the oldest, most universal responses your nervous system has.

Brain research backs this up directly. A 2010 imaging study in Cerebral Cortex had people view neutral and unpleasant pictures, each preceded by a symbol showing what was coming: a neutral image, a confirmed unpleasant one, or an uncertain one that could go either way. The amygdala and insula, brain regions tied to threat response, reacted more strongly to the unpleasant pictures when they arrived uncertainly than when they were confirmed in advance. People’s own mood ratings tracked the same pattern: the uncertain version felt worse, not better, than simply knowing something bad was on its way.

Can you actually get better at sitting with uncertainty?

Yes, and that’s the more hopeful half of this research. A 2023 meta-analysis in the Journal of Anxiety Disorders looked at people in treatment for generalized anxiety disorder and found that as their intolerance of uncertainty dropped, their anxiety symptoms dropped right along with it. The discomfort with not-knowing itself, not just the worry it produces, is something you can actually work on. It isn’t a fixed trait you’re stuck with.

A bilateral stimulation practice for the fear looping in your mind

Big, open-ended uncertainty is hard to work with directly. You can’t rate “my whole future” on a 0-to-10 scale. What you can work with is the one specific fear-image your mind keeps replaying: the phone call, the empty inbox, the conversation you’re dreading. Here’s a short practice for that.

• Rate it. On a 0–10 scale, how strong is the unease right now? Note the number.
• Name the exact scene. Not “my whole future,” but the single image on repeat: the doctor’s face, the notification you’re waiting for, the specific words you’re afraid of hearing.
• Add bilateral stimulation (BLS). Move your eyes smoothly left and right for 20 to 30 seconds, alternate tapping your knees or shoulders, or use alternating left-right audio tones, while holding the image lightly in mind.
• Pause and notice. Stop. Breathe. Notice whatever shifted, without forcing it.
• Repeat 3 to 5 short rounds, re-rating the number in between. If it climbs instead of easing, stop, ground yourself, and stay inside your window of tolerance, the zone where a feeling is present but you can still think clearly.

This isn’t a random calming trick. Researchers call vivid, distressing images of a feared future event “flashforwards.” A 2010 study in Behaviour Research and Therapy found that holding a flashforward in mind while making eye movements left it less vivid and less emotionally charged afterward. That’s the same effect eye movements have on distressing memories of the past, and it’s the mechanism this practice leans on.

Counting rounds while you’re already keyed up is one more thing to track. EmEase, a self-guided EMDR app, runs the same left-right technique for you with a moving on-screen target or alternating tones, at a pace you set, in the web app.

What actually helps while you wait for an answer?

It’s tempting to prepare for uncertainty by rehearsing every bad outcome in advance, as if enough bracing will soften the blow if it comes. A 2017 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin followed people through a real stressful wait. It found that staying mindful, present with what’s actually true right now rather than pre-living the worst case, predicted feeling better able to cope. Bracing for bad news only helped once it came late in the wait, not as an early, ongoing strategy.

That suggests a different use for your attention: instead of scanning every possible branch of an unknown future, anchor to what’s actually true today. One meal you don’t have to think about, a walk at the same time, a single task you can finish and point to. You don’t need certainty to have something solid to stand on for the next hour.

When uncertainty needs more than this

This practice fits the ordinary unease of not knowing what’s next, the kind that eases once you have an answer or get used to living without one. Some versions of this feeling point somewhere more specific. If the uncertainty is really about a change already underway, a new job, a move, a shift that’s already started, Adjusting to Change When Everything Feels New goes deeper on that side of it. If it’s dread about one specific date on the calendar, our anticipatory anxiety guide is the closer fit.

If your mind keeps generating a list of worst-case scenarios rather than sitting with the not-knowing itself, see Can’t Stop Worrying? Give Your Mind a Different Job. And if this uncertainty is tangled up with a real loss, our grief and life transitions guide goes further on that ground. Reach out to a licensed professional if the unease hasn’t started to ease over several weeks, or if it comes with a hopelessness that scares you. The same goes if distress during this practice climbs above a 7 out of 10 and won’t settle back down.

Not knowing what happens next is genuinely hard. It doesn’t mean you’re handling it wrong.